Marriage is so Gay

I saw a movie called Arisan last night. It's been sitting under the TV for weeks (as it seems do any the gay themed DVDs I get from Netflix (2 and counting ; )) obviously I am not secure enough in my machoness).

In any case, Arisan seems pretty quaint when watching in New York. It is a soap opera movie (Indonesian movies often have a made-for-TV-look) with dollops of melodrama.

However it does have an edge.

It is about a guy coming out and all the dysfunctional straight relationships his pals have. Interestingly, he's Batak (I had a Bakak pal who was gay as Christmas, but was officially straight last time I checked in with him, I suppose Batak are traditionally obsessed with having ancestors which makes things tougher).

The thing is, however rustic Arisan seems from the vantage point I have here in Manhattan there is still an ongoing gay rights struggle here in the US.

It revolves around gay marriage. One side says that gay people should not be discriminated against by the state when it comes to marriage. The other side argues that married gay people will destroy the family.

I think the anti-discrimination side of the argument is pretty self explanatory. The 'pro-family' side of the argument is sorta swathed in hand waving mystery.

I am straight. If I ever do get hitched, I do not understand how a random gay couple down the road would have a negative impact on my family.

The other argument is that once you allow gay marriage, gay couples adopting cannot be far behind, and the kids they care for will be somehow dysfunctional. I do not see any evidence that a gay couple is any less capable of rearing a family than a straight couple. There are many dysfunctional straight families out there (cf. Arisan) and many orphans looking for caring parents, it's a no brainer.

Fundamentally, some conservatives worry that losing this discriminatory law will become another implicit approval of homosexuality by society. No matter how much hand waving they do, that is the point. No longer are gay people marginalised; driven to have relationships in the shadows; they are becoming vibrant part of the mainstream. That is the big worry, that some conservative's homophobic teachings increasingly fall on deaf ears.

I do not think the state should have any say in certifying marriage. Two (or more) adults should be able to marry in whatever combination they wish, the state's role is superfluous. If fundamentalist Christians prefer only straight marriages in their churches that is fine, but no one should have a monopoly on marriage.