Saturday, July 04, 2009

Marriage is so Gay

I saw a movie called Arisan last night. It's been sitting under the TV for weeks (as it seems do any the gay themed DVDs I get from Netflix (2 and counting ; )) obviously I am not secure enough in my machoness).

In any case, Arisan seems pretty quaint when watching in New York. It is a soap opera movie (Indonesian movies often have a made-for-TV-look) with dollops of melodrama.

However it does have an edge.

It is about a guy coming out and all the dysfunctional straight relationships his pals have. Interestingly, he's Batak (I had a Bakak pal who was gay as Christmas, but was officially straight last time I checked in with him, I suppose Batak are traditionally obsessed with having ancestors which makes things tougher).

The thing is, however rustic Arisan seems from the vantage point I have here in Manhattan there is still an ongoing gay rights struggle here in the US.

It revolves around gay marriage. One side says that gay people should not be discriminated against by the state when it comes to marriage. The other side argues that married gay people will destroy the family.

I think the anti-discrimination side of the argument is pretty self explanatory. The 'pro-family' side of the argument is sorta swathed in hand waving mystery.

I am straight. If I ever do get hitched, I do not understand how a random gay couple down the road would have a negative impact on my family.

The other argument is that once you allow gay marriage, gay couples adopting cannot be far behind, and the kids they care for will be somehow dysfunctional. I do not see any evidence that a gay couple is any less capable of rearing a family than a straight couple. There are many dysfunctional straight families out there (cf. Arisan) and many orphans looking for caring parents, it's a no brainer.

Fundamentally, some conservatives worry that losing this discriminatory law will become another implicit approval of homosexuality by society. No matter how much hand waving they do, that is the point. No longer are gay people marginalised; driven to have relationships in the shadows; they are becoming vibrant part of the mainstream. That is the big worry, that some conservative's homophobic teachings increasingly fall on deaf ears.

I do not think the state should have any say in certifying marriage. Two (or more) adults should be able to marry in whatever combination they wish, the state's role is superfluous. If fundamentalist Christians prefer only straight marriages in their churches that is fine, but no one should have a monopoly on marriage.


triesti said...

quote: Two (or more) adults should be able to marry in whatever combination they wish, the state's role is superfluous.unquote

OMG, is that mean you are pro polygamy now?

mousharilla said...

Oh blast it, I wanted to give you a link to this really interesting article on children of the "gayby boom" (as the dubbed it..), kids in their 20's who were raised by gay parents..

The gist of the article was that they had a tendency to have more empathy, and have a more open mind. But a few who were themselves gay, were scared of coming out.. They were afraid people were going to shrug and say 'well gay people, will raise gay children. what did you expect?'.. I'll keep an eye out for it, and link you if I find it! :D

Anyways - yes.. I do agree with you. A marriage is after all between two people.

(Yes, great minds and all :D)

johnorford said...

yeh polygamy is ok, polygany ain't (or however u term only guys being allowed to marry multiple wives...)

johnorford said...

mousharilla - altho i would only ever want to be in a relationship with 1 other woman, if others want to marry 2 or 3 than good for them. the problem comes where woman can't have multiple husbands...

A Feminist Blog said...

gosh, can't imagine John as a 'polygamist', hahahaha ...
(you are not serious, are you John?)

johnorford said...

I could never imagine me being a polygamist either. But if other sane consenting quota wanna have relationships like that then why not...