iPhone 3G S

I will get one tomorrow, and the best thing is that I am not typing this in my sleeping bag outside of the Soho Apple store.

No, I have hired a homeless bloke to sleep out side for me, and wait in line. I am sure to be the first iPhone 3G S owner in New York! : ) My only worry is that someone buys my homeless bloke off or he goes and takes a piss at some inopportune moment and my place gets taken.

The problem with the new iPhone will look exactly like e.v.e.r.y. other bloody iPhone ever made. How can I show off? Apple you change iPods every year, forcing hipsters to upgrade accordingly. What's the point in buying the latest and greatest iPhone if I cannot show it off?

Any ideas how I can make sure everyone knows I have the new iPhone? Use the video feature non-stop? Make use of the compass to tell people which way is north? Use the "voice control" feature to dictate snotty text messages to my homies? MMS my blog with pictures of me picking my nose?

My dad's 3 year old phone has all of those features, plus a built in torch. Hopefully a torch will be included in the iPhone 3G T, due out next year; then followed by the iPod Torch. Genius.